Wednesday, 4 August 2010

Positive thoughts

Feels like a while since I last updated, think I've been really busy recently. Not really sure what I've been doing, just feels like I haven't had much free time. Lots of work, met up with some old friends, saw Toy Story 3, all good!

Had my second counselling session today. It went well. I found some of her questions really hard to answer, but she's really nice and reassuring. She gave me such a fresh perspective on things. It feels like my problems fall into two categories. Sometimes I do things that are bad for me and I need to not do them. For these, she's teaching me ways to break habits, distract my mind. With other things, I think I'm doing things that are bad for me. But she made me sit back, look in from the outside and asked why I thought they were bad. And I didn't have an answer. I was surprised to realise I do have a really "black and white" outlook on the world - I do have very clear ideas on what I "should" do. I had no idea, it was so ingrained in me. It was really refreshing to realise things are not black and white, I'm an adult and I can make my own choices.

I suspect to most people this sounds ridiculously obvious, but it had just never occurred to me. It feels like a lot of things in my life were pre-determined, often without me even noticing. There's still a long way to go, but it was a very liberating discovery. I feel like one day I will be able to process things in a healthy way.

She was even able to help me cope with the whole friend moving to America thing. This is definitely very much early days, but I could feel progress. He's back in less than four weeks anyway, I'll probably master it like the day before!


  1. I'm so happy that you're feeling good about your counseling. It takes hard work to move forward but its worth it. I too had to realize I have choices in my life. It brought me to a stronger place in my life. When you learn to make healthy choices it gives you a feeling of control and wholeness. You get stronger every day! You're on your way! Good for you!

  2. Thank you so much, I always appreciate receiving your positive comments :)

  3. Great job on figuring things out. That's always the hardest part. And it's not obvious to realize that you may see things in black and white, and then to realize that you don't need to. Lots of people think in that way. People grow up thinking a certain way because of their surroundings and then realize who they are when they are older and that they may or may not really agree with what they thought before was legit. Does that make sense? lol

  4. Thank you, that makes a lot of sense! And it's always nice to know I'm not alone in thinking that way