Back to work

So my first day back at work went pretty well. I was imagining that they would have moved everything and all the offers would have changed and there'd be loads of new products and I would have forgotten everything, but actually almost nothing's changed. There's some new wooden food sets which are absolutely gorgeous, and the swimming accessories section has been condensed as we've nearly sold out, but that's about it. Oh, and they've taken the banner of balloons down from above the till. I kind of miss it, but it had been there for a while and most of the balloons were dying anyway.

And I felt like I had a pretty good day in terms of sales. Had some fun chats with a few customers. Signed lots of people up to our loyalty scheme which is always exciting and makes my boss happy. And then I spent 40 minutes playing with a spirography, which was so much fun! When I was younger, my grandparents had a spirograph and I spent a lot of my childhood playing with it, but it was shared between like six grandchildren and had broken in several places and been taped back up. It was so exciting to actually play with a brand new set out the box! Seriously tempted to buy myself a set, I made pretty patterns. I was just meant to be making a sign to promote a sale we currently have going on the product, but my boss didn't seem to mind me messing around with it for a lot. In fact, she's told me I can play with it more tomorrow even though I've made the sign now, as I've agreed to come in a few hours earlier to cover for a sick colleague. I'm going to have lots of fun!

Which reminds me, I was chatting to someone earlier who asked how the job hunt's going. She knows about my job, I think she just thinks I should be doing something more suitable for a graduate. I get this a lot and it's really frustrating. I genuinely don't want to go anywhere else for at least another year. I might even look at internal promotions and stay with the company even longer. I've gone through so much crap, I just need to do what makes me happy at the moment. I do hope one day to have a decent graduate job with a reasonable salary and be able to buy the expensive things I want and have a house and family and maybe even pay my student loan off.... But those things can wait a little while until I straighten myself out. I'm in the best place for me right now.

Which reminds me, I've booked a counselling session for tomorrow evening. Quite nervous, no idea what will happen. But she was really nice when I spoke to her on the phone, deep down I know that it will be fine. But as usual, my brain refuses to ignore all rationality and prefers to panic over incredibly unlikely "what ifs"....